Beat Up, Broken, and Feelin' Good

Hey yall, aint been on in awhile...got 2,500 things to go through in my messages! Just figured I'd let yall know I'm alive, though all broke up.
I've come to realize there is something very wrong with me, I've known for a long time that I'm an adrenaline junky but never really realized how much. The past few weeks I've been tearin' it up on a 2 stroke Yamaha dirtbike, the other day I crashed on a 60 foot table top and broke my hand and jacked up my left arm, shoulder to wrist, got up shook myself off and went at it for awhile longer before heading off to work. Then I went out the next day and made the jump bigger. Then I crashed while trail riding and had my foot get pinned and dragged under the foot peg, tore through the side of my boot and ripped the bottom off and broke my foot. Got up, cussed a bit then got back on the bike and rode it off, hit a few gaps through the woods then left the trails to hit the big jumps again. Once I parked the bike I felt the pain
Here in about a month and a half I have some bulls to ride, I cant wait. I realized sitting here after getting all broken up I almost missed the feeling...kinda did miss it. Its wierd, the only time I feel really at peace is after the wild rush wears off and the pain sets in, then I'm worn out and content, the pain I can block out. But shortly after that, that contented state of mind starts to go away and that craving to get back on it comes back full force.
All last spring and summer I didnt have any access to get that adrenaline fix, thats torture. 

But, I've come to realize I have a problem...and I have no intentions of getting it fixed!
I even found out I have a theme song!